Prologue

I had a few days in California before officially starting the Pacific Crest Trail. I have too many important people in California not to spend some time with them before heading out. This covers the preceding days, if you would like a bigger picture that led to this point, you can check out my previous work entries on my website, Boot Straps and Under the Weight.

April 1

Cloud drama in my final days in NE Washington

Leaving felt bittersweet. I’ve grown comfortable at home, built a routine, even a bond with my parents’ dog, Kai. She joined me on runs and walks, though six miles seems to be her limit.

It was time, though. Everything had wrapped up cleanly.

The world feels loud right now. Politics especially. Stepping away from that for a while feels necessary. I’m sure I’ll come back to it and feel a bit out of the loop, but that’s fine.

There’s some anxiety, but it leans more toward excitement. Sitting on the plane, it felt real. Just a few days out now, with time to see people I care about before starting.

My pack is heavier than I’d like. I packed a lot to maintain some sense of myself.

I kept thinking about the accountant in Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. Deep in chaos, and still clean, still composed, like he never left his office. That’s what it feels like right now. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Later that day, I made it to Santa Barbara and saw Kaia, Garrett, and the kids. It had been a while since we were all together.

Garrett went through my gear with me and made a point about morale boosters needing to be at least ten percent of pack weight. I think I’ve got that covered. 

For reference, I lived with Garret and Kaia for years in Hawai'i, and hearing Garrett's stories about his time on the Appalachian Trail inspired me for years to do the Pacific Crest Trail. 

April 2

Started the day at the Santa Barbara Botanical Garden with Kaia and the kids. It’s a beautiful place. I was a bit tired. Had a coughing fit during the night, and Karu was definitely sick. Hoping I don’t catch anything.

Met Haley, who was in my Peace Corps cohort, around lunch and we grabbed tacos. I had been picking at caffeine all morning, so by the time I actually ate, I was buzzing. The tacos helped.

We went out to the pier and did some paddleboarding, thanks Kaia! It was good to spend time with Haley, I don't think we've spent much time together so it was good to catch up on where life had taken us.

Being in Santa Barbara and Ventura, around people I really enjoy, makes it easy to picture a life there. But I’m letting it stay as a picture. No need to decide anything right now. What leaves, leaves. What stays, stays.

That night we had some of the best pizza I’ve had. Sourdough crust is by far the best decision that can be make when making a pizza, a hill I'll die on.

The anxiety still comes in small waves as the start gets closer. I’ve been able to bring myself back each time. I think that’ll be part of the rhythm going forward.

April 3–4

Left Haley’s and made it to the rental return with ten minutes to spare. I’ve always managed the "just in time"...a bit of a bad habit that I'm working on.

Took the Pacific Surfliner from Union Station to Irvine, where Sinead, another member of my Peace Corps cohort, picked me up.

Being with Sinead and her family was easy. Calm. A good place to land before heading out, always grounding to be with Sinead.

We went grocery shopping and stocked up. Granola bars, nuts, olive oil, oats. The basics.

Once everything was packed, I felt better. The weight was lower than what I had trained with, which helped.

At this point, it feels less like preparing and more like waiting. Everything is ready. Not much left to do but start.

April 5

Sinead and her family headed out to Easter Mass, I stayed behind. I called my parents and consolidated things. We'd be heading out to Campo later in the day. We got news that Sabin, another member in my Peace Corps cohort, would be joining us. I felt a bit spoiled by all the friends I got to see before leaving.

Sabin rolled in around 3:30 and we got out of Sinead's around 4:15, still a few hours to Campo. It was a nice ride, being surrounded by friends. 

The reality seemed to set in mile by mile. I would not be in a bed tonight. I would not likely be comfortable. I would be starting the next 5-6 months of my life.